One Day, I Will Kill You All
by Kashiwa
Summary: Onsen ga...suki? The cast of Shaman King have gone on a trip to Australia! Could there be an onsen there too? Will any of the characters accept the love they all share?


And now.. Kashiwa presents.. A super-duper unclever fic about Shaman King. Entitled.  
  
"One Day, I will kill you all"  
  
  
  
One fine summer day, the Yoh and his fracky group of friends, lovers, gay-secret-admirers, and lovers (sorta) decided to go to Australia. So, they packed up their bags, and went there. When they left the Encyclopedia- port, Yoh's eyes grew wide, and his pupils dilated for some reason.... "Ah, what I great day! (sigh) I think this will be a fun trip! Suddenly though, the kind, inviting skies of Australia turned black, and Yoh suddenly couldn't help but be sucked behind him. Behind him, of course, was Anna. "Carry my bags. Now." Shouted Anna, who made Manta brace. As Yoh picked up the bags, the darkness lightened, and birds began to sing once again, and the traditional Caribbean drums of the area began to play again. "Wait, aren't we in Australia? Why are there Caribbean drums here? What is going on? Ugh! This is so disturbing!" said Manta. At that, the drum players gathered their instruments together and ran in another direction. "Well, that was certainly strange," said Ren, who already found some milk to drink. "What say we find our hotel?" "Sounds good to me," said Amidamaru, who had somehow found a tropical- themed Kimono that could be worn by mochirei. And so, the cast found their hotel. It was big, nice, and had a large building attached to it, presumably for an onsen. "Wow, I hope that is an onsen!" said Yoh, as he got all fuzzy and relaxed. "What? They don't have onsens in Australia?" shouted Manta, who already found his blood pressure rising. "Why not? They had one in America! Why not here?" said Horohoro, whose headband smiled with the familiar face of Kororo. So, they all entered the hotel and checked in. "So, do they have an onsen?" asked Yoh. "Wai, yesu, zei duu in fakuto havu an onsen, hotto, yangu japaniizu booizu!" said the guy at the check-in counter. The cast found it strange that a local of Australia not only understood Japanese, but could also speak poor-sounding Japanese-accented English. "Wow..an onsen.I love onsens." Yoh's pupils began to pulsate with relaxational delight. Anna folded her arms and scowled. The cast thought they heard the word "idiot" but just assumed it was the wind playing tricks on them. They picked up theirs and Anna's bags and went up to the super- duper gigantic Fracky Shounen Adventure-sized suite. Rizerugu fell into his bed. "So, who am I sharing my bed with?" he asked. At that, Ryuu began to blush. "Ah, Ryuu! We seem to be a size-match. What say we share this one?" added Rizerugu. Ryuu blushed and sat on the bed next to him, who suddenly looked very girly and sparkly. "Oh my! If only I could share a bed with.oh.but we couldn't.we musn't.oh Yoh-sama, not in front of the gay ones! Oh.tihihi!" said Tamao, who had earned the appropriate title of "stupid bitch with no life." Anna scowled.  
  
Yoh, Manta, Horohoro, Ren, Ryuu, Rizerugu, and Chocolove relaxed in the warm, gentle waters of the Australian onsen. The only absent male was Faust, who had been seen wandering into the inner-city area shortly after visiting the room. All were blushing, but the only ones blushing solely because of the hot air were Yoh, Chocolove, and Manta. All was relaxing for the three, who had not been burdened with the trouble of a secret gay crush on Yoh. After all, it would've been pretty sick if Yoh had had a gay crush on himself. Meanwhile, Faust sat behind a tree, dealing drugs to the impressionable youths of Australia, and suddenly felt himself overwhelmed by a feeling of completeness. Anna had found herself entranced by a necklace, as she had wandered into an Australian gift shop. She thought Yoh would be really happy if she gave it to him. "Hmm.maybe I could throw it to him and tell him a hobo gave it to me.yes.that'd sound tough." she thought. She bought the necklace and set out to find Yoh. Tamao sat in the room and watched MTV. The classic video for the song "I Touch Myself" came on, and she thought of Yoh. What a stupid bitch. She thought her thoughts, and they made here all hot and bothered. And then she decided-she would tell Yoh who she felt. But how could she do it with all of those people, and that.that WOMAN there? She would have to tell him somewhere safe! Anna got a shiver and scowled.  
  
After the onsen, Ren got some milk. He pondered the reasoning behind his drinking milk all the time, and came to the conclusion that it was based on his love for his mother. Determined to look further into this, he picked up a book of Freudian theories and began to read. Next on his list was the Kinsey Report. He thought maybe Ryuu should read that one too. Jun sat down and ate lunch.  
  
When he left the onsen, Yoh saw Tamao running up to him, breathing heavily from the physical exertion and the frustration. "God, have you ever heard of mercy killings?" muttered Horohoro to Chocolove, who did not quite get it as he was too enveloped in the thick web of ultra-cool blaxploitation-ness. "Oh, Yoh-sama, please, come with me to the beach! I need to speak with you!" said the girl. As a passive and good-natured hippie-stoner guy, Yoh felt that it wouldn't hurt to speak with her. At the beach, which also happened to be a nude beach, Tamao asked Yoh if he would swim out into the ocean so that they could have privacy. They thought they could see Hao coming up from the left, and Steely Dan music began to play as he neared them. Yoh's eyes twitched a bit, and he began to swim out into the ocean with her. As they reached a far enough point, they halted, and Tamao's face turned red. "Yoh, I.I.I." Suddenly, a giant whale shark swam up and devoured her! So, Yoh swam back.  
  
When he got back to shore, Anna was there, fully clothed, and she handed him a towel. Her face seemed very badly sunburned. "Come this way," she said. So, Yoh followed her. The afternoon sky beat down on them, and he felt that the inviting breeze of the beach was very pleasant. They stopped, and she turned around and faced him. "A hobo gave this to me. Take it," Anna said, as she threw it at him. She turned around and kneeled down. "Oh, thanks Anna! But.why did you give me this gift?" said Yoh. "Because." "Because.?" "Because." Staring at his fiancé, Yoh could have sworn he heard the words "I love you," but he figured it was just the wind. 


End file.
